is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
