I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
