Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize