I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
