Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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