New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
