How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My life is pants optional.
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