there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
