Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
