if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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