so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
