question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
