Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
