wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
