just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
