so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
