i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
