god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
what day is it and did you see me today?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
