STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
