Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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