Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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