that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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