Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
