He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
