Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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