I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
