he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
