I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
