Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Randomize
