You can't motorboat a personality
I skipped work to stalk him.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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