Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
do nipples grow back?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
