too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize