Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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