this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize