ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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