so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
