eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
