I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
