Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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