hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
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