Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
