Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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