Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize