It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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