just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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