You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
