I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
