She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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