worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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