saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
