the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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