It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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