I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
