I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Randomize
