why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
