I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize