break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
