Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Found the puke drawer
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
