I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
