Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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