Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
