nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize