...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
