Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
