Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
