Say something about gay babies.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
