Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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