Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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